


One-handed

by Yuulina_vre



Series: Little Supersoldiers [36]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Bucky, Kid Bucky Barnes, Kid Fic, M/M, Men Crying, Movie Night, Nightmares, Parent Steve, Parent Steve Rogers, Parenthood, Team as Family, dropping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:46:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19791181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuulina_vre/pseuds/Yuulina_vre
Summary: Bucky gets stuck and need to loose his arm.





	One-handed

Y/N sits in her living room, laptop on her lap and papers scattered around her. She takes some papers in her hands, flies over them and puts them back only to take them in her hand once again. With a frustrated sigh she puts them back down and grabs her phone. She dials Pepper’s number and waits for the friendly voice to answer _. “Y/N?”_

“Hey, Pepper. I need help.”

_“Okay, shoot. I have some time.”_

“I’m currently trying to write the schedule for next week, like you asked me to. But it doesn’t make sense. Tony can’t attend the children’s hospital and be on the conference in Manhattan at the same time. Bruce is off for the next two weeks but has four appointments he should attend to and I don’t want to start with Nat and Clint’s.”

_“Okay, okay. The conference Tony attends to goes the whole day but knowing him he will only stay two hours before he gets bored and leaves it. Give him two more to take a break and get him to the hospital at around one. For Bruce, just ask him if he likes to attend any of these appointments. If not, you schedule them back to august to give him some time to think about.”_

“Okay. But what about Nat and Clint?”

_“Just write the schedule and threat them to not make any cakes for the next two months. That should settle everything.”_ Pepper laughs and Y/N joins in. “Okay. Oh, hey. Peter called earlier and asked if he could stay the month. He has summer break and would like to be around us for a while. Do you think that’s okay?”

_“Why not? Does he have anything to do?”_

“Not really. I could ask him to either join Tony in the hospital or to go with Wanda to the Single-Parent-help-Center. He could help her and these people if he’s up to it. If he doesn’t want than he could go with Steve and Bucky. They’re at the comic con next week.”

_“That’s good. Do that. How are things so far? Do you still like it?”_

“I do.” Y/N smiles and looks around her at the papers. She actually managed to talk to Bucky and Steve about working again and they all agreed that she doesn’t want to work with more children than these two and that working for Pepper is really comfortable. She can do it from home and Pepper will understand if she doesn’t manage everything because of the boys. It’s been a month now and Y/N really likes what she does. Even if it’s sometimes a bit complicated. “I still hope I don’t cause more trouble than good.”

_“As if. You’re doing good and it takes a lot off my shoulders. When you’re comfortable enough we can talk about a few more things you can do for me if you like.”_

“Sounds good. Thank you, Pepper.”

_“No problem. Call me if you need anything else.”_ She agrees and hangs up. Just as she puts the phone aside it rings. She picks up and laughs. “Did you forget something, Pepper?”

_“Y/N, listen. We need your help. Talk to Bucky.”_

“What? Tony? What’s going on?”

_“Just talk to him. He’s freaking out. I need to take off this arm. CAP! Hold him down, dammit.”_ She hears rustling and suddenly a scream rips through the rustle. _“Shit. Y/N? Doll? I’ll explain everything when we’re back. You need to calm Bucky down. He’s trapped and we need to get this arm off. The metal one, not the other one.”_ Y/N feels herself pale. _What happens there?_

* * *

“Barnes! Get over there. There are still people in the building!” Bucky looks up from the knocked down alien-like dog to the building Clint points. He gives the dog a last punch to the head and dodges a blast from some sort of electricity and runs over to the building. Steve’s shield flies across his head and bores itself in the wall. He rips it out and spots Steve, circled in from more than five aliens. With all force he can muster up, Bucky throws the shield in his lovers’ direction. “Steve! Catch!” The shield hits one alien against the head. Steve catches it before it falls and knocks two others down before he punches the third. Just as Bucky enters the building, he hears Nat call from the comms. “Guys! There’s something big coming! Watch out!”

“Barnes! Get the people out. Third floor, left side.” Tony guides him through the halls, floors and staircases until he finds the remaining people. He spots three people hiding under a desk, two under the window and a last one lying motionless on the floor. The windows are blown out and glass lays across the floor, papers are scattered around and splintered wood is here and there around. “Stark, Rhodes, Wilson. Get to the windows. I can’t bring them down. The stairs are too dangerous. I’ll pass them through the windows.” He waits for the confirmation before he starts to get one after another of these peoples to the windows, starting with the unconscious woman. It takes all but a minute. “No, please. My daughter. She’s still up there somewhere.” The last woman cries as Tony drags her through the window. Bucky throws a glance to the way he came from and back to the woman. He locks his eyes with Tony and darts back to the stairs and up to the next level. “Barnes, get out there. This flying thing is coming! It will crash the building!” Sam shouts but Bucky ignores him. If there’s still someone around, then he has to find them. “Buck!” Steve’s voice calls through the comms. “Tony, get life signals from the building. Is there still anyone inside?”

“Nope. Just terminator.”

“Buck! Get out. Quick.” Bucky looks around. He has just one more floor. Tony could be wrong. “One floor. I’ll check the last floor.”

“Barnes! There’s no one inside. Get the fuck out! Shit! Rhodes. Blasters on full boost. Aim for the wings!” Bucky listens to the sound of the fight that sounds through the comms and runs up to the top floor. He checks every room but can’t find another person. As fast as he can he runs back to the stairs as a rumble goes through the whole building and it vibrates. He stops for a tiny second before he runs faster as before. “Shit!”

“Buck? What’s going on?”

“The stairs are gone. I find another way. Give me two minutes.”

“Terminator, we don’t have two minutes. You barely have thirty seconds.” Bucky curses again and instead of finding another route he jumps down the staircase that isn’t there anymore. Only to realize that the whole building is coming down with him. “BUCK!”

The comm is silent for a few scary minutes but then Steve hears coughing. “Bucky, talk to me.” He punches down two of the last remaining creatures in his path and is at the rubble that was a building mere seconds ago. “Bucky!”

“S-Stevie? I can’t- I can’t!” His voice is panicked. “Fuck!” Steve curses and starts to push the rubble aside to get further to where the stairs had been. “Thor! Cover me!”

“Of course, Captain.” Thor lands with a loud thud behind him and lightning flashes. “Sam! Hulk, help me! Careful! Tony get a location. Rhodey, Nat and Clint. Figure out how many are coming and locate their positions. Make it as easy as you can to get them down.”

“STEVE! No. NO!” Steve curses again. He knows it's not a good sign if Bucky freaks out like that. “Cap! Half a foot to the right, for feet ahead of you.”

“Got it!” Steve sets to work and soon Sam and Hulk are at his side. They make quick progress until another of these flying creatures comes through. Steve quickly send Hulk away to get that thing down. Work gets done much slower now but Steve can hear Bucky’s shouts without the comm now. He’s close. “Nat! Watch out. This woman is shooting at you!” Clint shouts. Steve looks up and sees Nat dodge something. An arrow flies past the red and blonde woman and hits the other woman directly in the chest, electrocuting her until she falls unconscious to the ground. “That’s the woman who said her daughter is in the building.” Tony notes while he shoots another alien square in the chest. Green liquid splatters over his suit and drips to the floor. “Tony. Can you blast this away!” Sam points at a big piece of rubble. Iron Man looks at it briefly and fires a shot at it, getting it to slit in a half. Steve and Sam get the pieces out of the way and reveal a completely freaking out Bucky. “Steve! Steve. I can’t!” His eyes are wide with fear, he’s sweating and tears glisten in his eyes. He’s pale and looks around wildly. Steve crouches down beside him and accesses the damage done to him but finds no blood or injuries, except for scratches and a nasty gush to Bucky’s forehead. “Buck. Calm down. What’s wrong.”

“I can’t, Steve! Please. Please don’t take it. I can’t!”

“Take what, Buck?”

“Steve. His arm.” Sam motions to Bucky’s metal arm. It’s trapped under a lot of rubble. They can’t move it without risking it to fall on Bucky entirely and squash him. Steve curses again and tries to calm Bucky down but the man just freaks out further. “Fuck this shit! Buck! You're hyperventilating!” Steve has all hands full of trying to get Bucky to calm that he doesn’t notice as the others come up to him. Just as Tony curses he looks up. “I can’t shoot that. I have to take the arm off to get him free.”

“NO!” Bucky starts trashing and shouting, dust rains down at them and some small rubble rolls around somewhere. “Bucky please.”

“NO! Don’t take it. Don’t please.” The man starts crying and everyone is shocked.

“What’s wrong with him? Does he have a flashback?” Tony looks at Steve but he shakes his head. “He wouldn’t call for me if he had. This is something different.”

“Hey!” Clint taps Steve’s shoulder. “The woman had this? Maybe she gave it to him as he got her out?” He holds out a small syringe to the others. “Fuck. Shit.”

“Man, Steve.” Sam claps Steve on the shoulder, a bit shocked at all that cursing from his friend. “We get him out.”

“How? He’s acting like an animal.” Tony scoffs and looks at Steve. “Call Y/N.”

“What?”

“Dammit, Stark! Call Y/N! She can calm him better than I can.”

* * *

“Okay, okay. Get me on video call, Steve.”

“Why? How does this…” She hears how Steve runs the phone and looks at it. Someone takes it and soon she’s greeted with Clint dirty face. “There you go.” The phone is passed back to Steve and he gives her a small, thin-lipped smile. “Hey, Stevie.” She smiles back at him. She can see how he calms a tiny bit now that he can see her. “Get me to his side, so that he has to face away from his arm.” The scenery shifts and soon she’s facing Bucky’s afraid face. “Hey, sweetie. Bucky. Look at me.” Bucky looks around wildly and then pinches his eyes together. “No, no. No voices. Go away. GO!” Steve gasps and his hand appears in Y/N’s field of sight. He grips Bucky’s hand but the brunette starts trashing. “Buck. We’re here. Look. Y/N is calling. You remember video chat?” Bucky shakes his head vehemently but opens his eyes nonetheless. “There is your pretty face.” Y/N smiles at Bucky as his eyes find her on the phone. At Steve’s voice Lady lifts her head from her paws and looks over to Y/N. Then she stands up and walks over to her, jumping on the couch and glances curiously at the phone. She starts to sniff it and blocks the whole view so Y/N shoves her down. “Lady. Only looking, no sniffing.”

“L-Lady?”

“Yeah, she’s here. Look Lady, Papa is talking with us.” Lady barks and starts immediately sniffing the screen again. A whirring sounds through the speakers and Bucky starts whimpering. “No. Don’t take it. NO!”

“Hey, Bucky. Sweetie. Look at me.” Bucky’s frightened eyes snap to her. His hand tries to reach for the phone but Steve’s hand catches his and hold it tight. “It’s okay, Buck.” Steve changes the angle of the phone so that Y/N can see both of them. She can also see the progress Tony has with Bucky’s arm. “You remember Disneyland? That you always ask me to go there?” Buck nods shakily, his eye darting to Tony but are drawn back by Steve who quickly places a kiss to his normal shoulder. “I thought about it.” Y/N glances past him and sees Tony’s thumbs up at her. It seems like he only needs a few seconds longer. “I thought about it and I think, when you’re back and everybody is up to it than we can go and visit it.”

“R-really?” A little hopeful shimmer crosses Bucky’s face and gets her to smile. “Yeah. You know I don’t really like riding anything there but I will go with you. Okay? All you need to do is to calm down for me. Can you do that?”

“I-I…” Bucky stutters and is about to look over to Tony and Sam who’s now helping him but Y/N catches him again. “Bucky, sweetie. Can you be calm for me?”

“I…” Steve shifts a bit and draws Bucky’s eyes over to him. He smiles down at the brunette and kisses his temple. “There, see. Stevie is calm for you. Can you be calm for me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good.” She smiles kindly at him just as Lady sits back up and starts sniffing at Y/N’s hand and licks it. “I really like to kiss you now but I can’t. Can Stevie give you a kiss from me?” Bucky shakily nods as a few tears slip down his face. “Done!” Tony announces and Steve is quick to pull Bucky out of the debris, together with Nat. The moment Bucky sees that his arms isn’t following he starts crying and screaming. “Bucky! Bucky! It's okay. You’re okay.” Y/N tries to soothe him but it doesn’t work. And then the connection stops. She tries a few times to reach either Steve, Tony, Nat or Sam but it’s to no use. “Fuck!”

* * *

She paces up and down on the landing platform, waiting for the jet to arrive. Lady lies on the ground, looking at her and whines now and then when Y/N curses or nibbles on her nails. A few times she stops at the dog, sits down and pats her only to stand right back up and continue pacing.

Finally, the familiar sound of the jet is audible and Y/N looks up to spot the black dot on the sky. She starts running up to the landing jet and jumps inside as soon as the back door opens. She looks around but Lady takes the searching from her by barking and running up to the two soldiers. Tony walks past her and claps her shoulder. “He’s in a bad shape.” She nods at him and slowly walks over to them. Bucky looks bad, too. Despite having one arm of course. He’s pale and his eyes are red, he shivers and clings to Steve like a shadow. Lady sniffs at his ankles and whines, nudges his leg and sniffs at his metal shoulder. Steve pushes her gently away but she returns right again and settles at Bucky’s feet. Y/N does the same. She crouches down at Bucky’s and Steve’s feet, kissing the blonde on the cheeks and rubs Bucky’s thigh with soft strokes. “Hey, you.” Her voice is silent and gentle. Just the right tone to give him some comfort. He sniffles and looks over to her. His eyes well up again. “Y/N.” It’s more of a sob than an actual word. “Hey.” She smiles at him and caresses his cheek. She studies him for a moment before she glances to Steve. The blonde looks at her. His expression is unreadable but she can see the concern and confusion. “How about we go inside, hm?” She receives a shaky nod and stands back up. Just as she takes a few steps back she hears a whine. At first, she thinks it’s Lady but it’s too deep. “Don’t go.”

“Buck, shh. She’s not going anywhere.” Y/N looks at the brunette. He’s a notch paler than before and looks frightened. “I’m here.” She smiles at him and stretches out her arms. Bucky stands up and walks over to her, wrapping his arm around her and breathes in her scent. She presses him against her and hugs him tight while she pulls Steve into it. “We’re all here.” She glances over to Steve again and he sighs. “I’ll explain when we’re inside. C’mon.”

Steve and Bruce explain a lot. The woman that Clint shocked to unconsciousness was actually an undercover agent from HYDRA. She injected Bucky something that triggers heavy anxiety. It was a lucky coincidence that Bucky got trapped under the debris and rubble which made him more anxious because of his memories. That’s why he’s more acting like a child than an adult. Each time Y/N gets more than a few feet away or even leaves the room and gets out of his side he starts fidgeting and whimpering until he silently starts crying. He only calms back down when Steve and she are both at his side. He either clings to her or to Steve like his life depends on it. Lady never leaves his side and if Bucky’s hand isn’t occupied with either of theirs than he's touching, patting or just resting it on top of Lady’s fur.

The night comes quicker than everybody thought. Tony still works on Bucky’s arm which actually got pretty banged up. Bucky hasn’t calmed down one bit. He’s anxious as hell. He always lets Steve turn a corner first, then he follows, always keeping an eye on Y/N being the last one. He expects danger behind every corner and every door. He’s a bit calmer in their own apartment but not enough. Y/N tugs him into her bed and sits beside him, stroking through his hair and humming. She waits for Steve before she gets ready herself, not wanting to leave Bucky alone. Lady settles down behind his back and gives him actually a feeling of being safe. She licks his neck and his cheek a few times before she settles down to go to sleep. Y/N watches him the whole time and smiles at him when he looks at her to make sure she’s still there. He actually drifts off as Steve comes into her room. “Hey, doll. He’s asleep?”

“More or less.”

“Good. That’s good.” She studies him for a moment. “What’s up, Steve?” She holds out a hand for him to take while she still buries her other one in Bucky’s hair. Steve gladly takes her hand and sits in front of her. “We settled on debriefing tonight. When Bucky is actually sleeping, he won’t notice that I’m not around. We try to make it as short as we can. If somethings up just call us down. Are you okay with it?” He has his head ducked in shame and glances through his lashes at her. “Yeah. It’s okay. He’s no trouble.” Y/N smiles at Bucky and looks then back at Steve. She leans forward and presses a kiss to his cheek. “How are you?” Steve sighs and leans his head in his neck so that he’s looking at the ceiling. “I’m… being. I don’t know. I’m a little anxious and sad because of Bucky but I’m glad and happy, too. I don’t really know.” Y/N hums. She strokes over his face again and kisses him gently on the lips. “I’m glad nothing else happened.” She smiles at him before she frowns a bit. “How’s your leg? Sam told me you got a hit.”

“This guy. I got one but it’s okay. Can’t really feel anything and it’s not really something to see. Don’t worry. I’m good.”

“Okay. Tell me if I should wrap it or something.” They kiss again before Steve stands back up and leaves after promising Y/N that he comes back as fast as he can. She watches him leave. Just as the door closes, she curses herself. She missed her chance to change into her sleep clothes. Now it’s no use, so she strips out of her pants and takes of her bra but leaves the shirt she’s wearing on. In shirt and panties, she slips in front of Bucky and drapes her arms around him. A last kiss to his cheek makes him sigh. Y/N smiles at him and then closes her eyes.

She wakes with a start and a kick to her shin that actually pushes her out of bed. Confused she looks up to the bed. Bucky struggles around and even Lady is already at the foot of the bed, whining and ducking in fear. She probably got hit by him, too. Y/N winces at the pain in her thigh but stands back up straight and places a careful hand on Bucky’s shoulder which proves as failure because the man starts trashing around again. She backs down again. “FRIDAY. Get someone down here. Fast.” The AI doesn’t respond but Y/N knows that she does as requested. The only thing that she can do is to stare at Bucky and calm Lady down. Five minutes pass like that. “Oh shit.” She curses and steps up to Bucky who’s still sweating and trashing and whimpering. She’s just about to touch him as the doors fly open. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Steve and Tony enter. “Y/N! Don’t!” Steve’s shout comes too late. Just as Y/N touches Bucky’s shoulder she has his fist in her face and stumbles backwards until she hits the wall and blacks out.

Steve watches in horror as Y/N slides down on the wall. “Tony, get her out.” He motions for Tony to go to her while he quickly jumps on the bed and pins Bucky’s arm down. “Buck, come on. Come back to me. You’re okay. You’re safe.” Steve talks to him for a moment and slowly the brunette comes to himself. “You’re with me?”

“I- St-Steve?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Steve sits back on his heels to get his weight off of Bucky and to give him space to sit up. The man tries and falls back down at the first try, forgetting about his missing arm. He looks at his armless shoulder and a little panic crosses his face. “Where…” He looks around as if to spot it on the ground or somewhere. “It’s okay, Buck. Tony is fixing it.” He nods slowly and tries again to sit up. He actually manages this time and looks around again. “Where’s Y/N?” Steve opens his mouth to say something but closes it again and avoids eye contact. “Oh my god. I did something. Right?”

“Bucky, it's not-”

“What did I do, Steve.” Steve cringes at Bucky’s guilty face and looks down at his lap. “You punched her in your sleep and knocked her out. But Tony is with her and I’m sure she’s fine. She won't judge you. And I do neither.” Bucky shakes his head and draws his legs out from under Steve and up to his chest. “Doesn’t matter. I swore, Steve.” He starts rocking and sobbing. Steve feels a bit helpless but doesn't want to stare at him. So, he sits down next to him and pulls Bucky into his arms, letting him cry against his shoulder. “FRIDAY, is Y/N awake?”

“She’s just waking up, Captain.” Steve nods at the AI. “Come on, Buck. Let's look after her, okay?” Bucky shakes his head but Steve still drags him out of bed. The brunette can't give him a real fight with just one arm in his state and Steve has to admit that he uses that a little to his advantage.

The moment they enter the living room Bucky stops in the door frame. Steve stands beside him for a moment and lets his eyes wander back and forth between Y/N and Bucky. Bucky just frowns. Y/N sits next to Tony with a cooling aid to her left temple. Lady settled at her feet. She looks up as Tony whispers something and meets Bucky’s and his gaze. She smiles at them both but Bucky’s frown only deepens. He’s not running though, so Steve takes it for a good sign and guides him over to the sitting area. Bucky uses the room to sit as far away from Y/N as possible. He fidgets and shares nervous glances her way. Steve looks over at him but sits down next to Y/N. “Hey. How are you? Let me see?”

“I’m good. Just a little headache. Don’t worry.” She smiles but let’s Steve look at her temple He cringes for a second and places the cooling aid back on it. “It will tun into a bruise, though.”

“Really? It doesn’t feel like it.” She smiles at Bucky but he just looks ashamed to the floor. Then he suddenly stands up and leaves the living room. “Bucky?” Y/N wants to stand up but Tony drags her back down. “Don’t move so much. You probably have a slight concussion, too.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t know that. Let’s wait for Bruce to get up here.” Y/N sighs and leans on Steve’s shoulder. “How is he doing?” She motions with her head in Bucky’s direction. Steve sighs and shakes his head. “He’s afraid. When he realized that he hurt you he freaked a bit. He said he swore that he wouldn’t do it again. It’s kinda… hard for him.”

“Hm. I understand. The thing he got injected, losing his arms and then this… But I don’t judge him. You told him, right?”

“I did. But I don’t think it really soothes him.”

“Would it help if we get something to calm him? Because we could.”

“No, Tony.” Y/N places a gentle hand on Tony’s leg. “Do you really want to give him another injection or meds he doesn't know what they are for? Because I don’t want to.”

“You’re right.” Tony nods. In the same moment it knocks on the door.

Tony lets Bruce and the others in. The scientist makes quick work of checking Y/N over and giving her some meds for the headache.

* * *

Y/N convinced Steve to follow Bucky and to sleep with him in his room. She went back to her own but Lady followed her and kept her company.

She wakes up and notices that her head still hurts. It’s good that she doesn't have a concussion but she would switch it for the headache. She can’t really think with it like this. She stalks out of her room, already in a bad mood. She glares around a bit but lightens up as she sees Steve and Bucky in the kitchen. Bucky is actually not grown anymore. Her heart falls a bit as she sees his puffy red eyes and his little frame with only one arm. “Hey you two. How are you doing?” She smiles and rubs Bucky’s shoulder. The child flinches and instantly ducks away from her to hide behind Steve’s chair. She shares an uncertain look with Steve and sits down. “What's wrong, Buck?” The kid peeks out from behind Steve but says nothing. He just looks at her. Questioning, she looks at Steve. “It was a hard fight last night. He was convinced that you hate him now, that he screwed everything up and that you will never love him. He acted like a child and it took me nearly two hours to calm him enough so that he could lie down. I woke to him dropping this morning. He clings to me the whole time since then. I don’t really know what's up with him because he can’t remember anything that happened, right? But I proposed to wake you up and he started crying. It got worse when he realized that his arm is gone.” Y/N hums and looks at Bucky again. The boy shuffles from foot to foot and looks around as if to find an escape route. “Hey, sweetie. Did you already eat?” She looks and smiles at Bucky. His gray eyes snap back to her and he shakes his head lightly, not leaving her out of his eyes. She stands up and walks to the fridge. “How do pancakes sound?” She looks over her shoulder but Bucky just stares. Steve looks at him for a second before he nods. “Sounds pretty good, right, Buck?” The brunette looks at Steve and nods once again. “Okay. Pancakes it is.” She smiles a small smile this time and gets to work. The whole time she feels Bucky’s eyes on her but each time she turns around he hides behind Steve. With a sigh she fills Lady’s bowl and watches as the dog eats.

It gets worse as the day passes on. Bucky won’t stay alone with Y/N. He always escapes to hide behind Steve, always asks him for help or cuddles up to him. His eyes stay on her though. He doesn't look frightened of her or angry on any part but cautious. Y/N guesses that it has something to do with him knocking her out and her wonderful and colorful face. But it still hurts. Bucky rather relies on Steve than on her like he used to.

That night is not better, Bucky actually starts fidgeting and switching his eyes to her more when she even comes close to him. She sighs and walks away from Bucky, who sits on the couch with Lady next to him and pretends to watch a cartoon with red eyes – he cried because he peed himself because he could open his own pant with one hand – and walks over to Steve who's in the kitchen doing the dishes. “Stevie?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Can I-” She stops and draws her bottom lip in between her teeth. She thinks while Steve throws a quizzical look at her. He abandons the sink and wipes his soapy hand on the towel as soon as he sees her face. “What's up, doll? What's with this face?” He cups her face in his hand, getting soap on her cheeks in the progress. Y/N sighs and closes her eyes while she leans into the touch of his warm and big hands. “I was thinking. He’s not trusting me and he’s always tense when I’m even in the same room, so-” She stops again and frowns before she opens her eyes and looks directly into Steve’s blue ones. “So?”

“How about I sleep at Nat’s today? Bucky can calm down; he doesn't have to worry about me being close and you can sleep with him in your room. Neither of us has to sleep alone this way.”

“Doll... It’s not necessary for you to leave.”

“I know. Wanda, Nat and I wanted to make a girls night anyway. Pepper is home, too so it would fit. Besides, he doesn't really want me here, Steve. It’s a good… situation this way.”

“Y/N. He wants you here. You know that. He loves you.” Steve releases her face and draws her into a tight hug. She slings her hands around his back, feeling his muscles under her hands and leans in, tucking her nose in the crook of his neck. “I know he does. I just want to give him some room. Nat offered. She said it’s fine.”

“Mommy leaves?” The watery, silent voice of Bucky fills in the room. Instantly the two adults break apart and turn to look at the small brunette child. Y/N quickly shakes her head after overcoming the shock of the boy suddenly appearing. “No, baby. I’m not leaving. Mommy just wants to go to aunt Nat.” She comes closer to Bucky. For a second she thinks he lets her actually touch him but just as she crouches down and reaches for him, he steps back a bit. She tries to not let her reassuring smile falter and just lets her hand fall to her thigh. “I don't want you leave.” Bucky whispers and glances at her with tears in his eyes before they switch over to Steve. “Okay.” She answers quickly and draws his eyes back to him. “Okay.” She says it gentler this time. “What do you want me to do then?”

“Stay.”

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

Even after Bucky said he wants her to stay and she texted Nat to do girls night without her Bucky doesn’t let her near him. He’s a bit more relaxed with her in the same room as before but he watches her closely when she comes closer. Still, Y/N decides that Steve should stay with Bucky and they argue a bit about it until Y/N threatens to show all his pictures he recently had drawn to the team. He quickly quiets down, being shy about them and settles on her demand. But he only agrees to the fact that Y/N has to say when she’s lonely or feels sad, uncomfortable or anything in that direction. She promises him, being sure that it only will be this night and tugs Lady with her so that she won’t be all alone.

Turns out she's wrong. The same procedure holds on for two more days until the boy drops back again.

Bucky is still cautious of her, avoiding her whenever he can and only gives short answers to quickly escape her as soon as he can. Y/N gets more frustrated with it as the time passes and Steve gets a bit concerned about that. She keeps saying she’s fine before she starts to snap at somebody for being too loud while eating or just breathing into the wrong direction. Y/N sits with Nat in her room as she hears Bucky talking to Steve. They walk down the hall as she hears Steve groan. “Sorry, Buck. I forgot something in the common room. Just go into my room and wait, will you? I’ll be right back.” Y/N hears Steve run back down the hall and out of the apartment. “Y/N?”

“Hm?” She turns back to Nat who just finished painting her nails. “Can we move into the living room? I have enough of sitting in this room.”

“Eh… Yeah, sure.” She scrambles up and is almost out of the door as Nat calls her again. “Wait! Take the photo album with you. I want to see some more funny pictures. It has been a while.”

“Really? We're making fun of the boys today?” Y/N frowns at Nat as the redhead snickers. “’course we do. Bucky kinda deserves it for being a jerk. Even with the drug in his system.” Y/N groans but internally approves of Nat's proposal. Even when Bruce announced that the drug is gone since this morning, Bucky hasn’t changed his attitude. She grabs the album and walks down the hall with Nat. She's about to walk past Steve’s room as Nat suddenly pushes her inside, slams the door shut and locks it. “NAT! Nat, open up! C’mon, it’s not funny.”

“Sorry, Y/N. We open when you got things settled again. This is annoying the hell out of us.” She hears Nat footsteps fade away. “NAT!” She pounds at the door but it all gets unheard by the two people outside so she gives up rather quickly. She sighs and slaps a last time against the door. A curse lets her turn around. Bucky stands at the bathroom door and tries to open it. Steve must have guessed that because the door doesn’t move an inch. It’s locked. He looks at her a bit panicked and tries the door once again. Before he scrambles back to the bed and curls together on the far corner at the headboard. Y/N watches him and leans against the door, tapping her finger against the album in her hands to overcome the awkward atmosphere in the room. She glances from her feet to Bucky now and then. Eventually she sighs and looks straight at him, only to see him staring at her. “It can’t go on for this any longer, you know.” Bucky doesn't answer. In fact, he's not showing any sign that he heard her. “They won’t let us out if we don't make up and even if they do, I can't stand this any longer. I don’t judge you. You didn't mean to hurt me. You know that too.”

“Still.” Is the silent reply she gets. She huffs a breath and pushes away from the door and sits on the foot of the bed, album on her lap. “I really missed going to the park with you the last few days, you know. I missed you running around and picking fights just out of fun or hunting this one boy you always play with. I missed pushing you on the swings as well.” She doesn’t look up and to him. She knows he’s listening even if he doesn’t make any sound or moves. “It was never this silent at dinner as well. There is always chatter with the team but since this mission… It’s awkward. No one knows what to do or to say. And tomorrow at movie night? I don’t even know if they will let us come. We know both we can’t really relax. There’s always a tension between us since your nightmare.” She looks up briefly to look at Bucky. He has slightly unrolled and looks at her with a mix of caution, guilt, sadness and fear. “But even if you act like you do, I love you. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you because of some dumb HYDRA guy or a drug or a dumb nightmare. I love you as much as I love Steve. I don’t know what I would do if I lose one of you. That’s why I made this.” She pats on the photo album. A small smile creeps on her face. “It always reminds me of the days we already had, the times you came back to me just fine or banged up. But you came back. All the happy memories are stored in here. All the love I have for you. This one for example.” She opens the album and turns to one page that holds some pictures of Bucky and Steve in the sandpit. Bucky holds a crying Steve in his arms, glaring in a direction away from the camera. A destroyed sandcastle at their feet shows the cause of Steve’s crying. In another one Bucky builds a sandcastle together with Steve while in another one they fill the moat with water from a water bottle. “You protected Steve and helped him to build a new castle. He was so proud of his big brother. And I was so proud of you because you didn’t run and picked a fight, instead you comforted him and acted like a really big boy. Or this one.” She turns to a new page of Bucky drawing on a sheet of paper. “You wanted to give Steve a special picture for when he gets back from his mission. You cried a lot because you said you can’t draw but you didn’t give up. In the end we made it together and you cuddled me as a thank you for over an hour. You were so happy when Steve placed the picture over the TV so he could see it every minute he’s home.” Her smile spreads and she feels the mattress dip as Bucky moves. She continues to tell more stories of Bucky and the love she felt. One by one the brunette comes closer to her, looking at the pictures mesmerized by the aura that flows over to him from her. At some point he sits beside her a small smile on his lips. Y/N stops talking and gazes up at him. For a second he looks at her before he really registers how close he is. He scrambles away but before he even comes far Y/N grabs his wrist. “Don’t run off.” She pulls him back again to sit beside her. She leans in to kiss his temple. “Bucky.” She looks him deep in the gray eyes as he tenses. “It doesn’t matter to me if you’re big or not. And it doesn’t matter to me if you’re here or out on a mission. And it certainly doesn’t matter if you hurt me by accident. I’ll always love you. You can try as hard as you want but this feeling is stuck with me, which means you’re stuck with me. As is Steve.” Bucky shies away from her gaze but she holds her eyes on him. “You’re. Not. Getting. Rid. Of me.” She kisses his temple with each word. She looks at him again. “Okay?” Bucky lets out a watery sigh. He clenches and clenches his hand and nods shakily. They sit for a few minutes until Steve peeks inside, Lady already squeezing past him to run and stand on her back paws with her front ones on Bucky’s knees with tongue lolling out. Y/N has released Bucky’s hand but he stayed at her side, looking into the album she had passed to him. The blonde smiles and stride into the room fully and falls down on the other side of Bucky, pushing Lady down in the motion. “Hey, how are you doing?”

“You know we probably kill you in your sleep, tonight, right?” Y/N smiles devilishly at Steve and his smile disappears. Y/N bursts out into a laugh and Bucky joins with a faint giggle. “Why am I in love with you?” Steve sighs before he grabs the album form Bucky’s hand and turns to the first page to look at it with his two lovers.

* * *

This night they settled on sleeping in their own rooms. No one really knows why but it just happens. Only lady is allowed in Bucky’s room so he wont be alone.

“Y/N?” Y/N feels a hand on her shoulder, a light touch. She lets out a soft sound but continues sleeping. The hand comes back again. “Y/N.” She groans and swats at the hand while she turns on her back. “Y/N.” The hand shakes again, a bit firmer this time. Y/N groans again but peels her eyes open. “’at?”

“I- Can I sleep here?” She musters the black silhouette of Bucky. He’s slightly hunched over and she sees the sweat clinging to his body. Nightmare. She hums, scoots back a bit and lifts the blanket for Bucky to slip in. He does and snuggles close up to her. Y/N smiles at that. She’s surprised that he comes to her and not to Steve and even more surprised that she snuggles up to her without any sign of fear. Despite her face still showing the bruise. She slings her arm around him and rubs his back while she feels herself fall back to sleep. In a last bit of consciousness, she whispers ‘I love you’ and connects their foreheads.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” She hums in a half groan and cuddles closer to Bucky. “I still can’t sleep.” She opens her eyes again. She was asleep for more than twenty minutes after Bucky slipped into her bed. She studies his features and then a thought comes. “The nightmare was bad, huh?” Bucky nods but says nothing to it. Y/N knows he’s not ready to talk about it just yet. “Okay. Come with me.” She slips out of bed, rounds it and takes Bucky’s hand. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” They walk down the hall and stop at Steve’s door. “Wait a sec.” She slips in and a few minutes later she comes back out with a sleep drunk Steve with the worst bed hair ever to be seen. He rubs his eyes tiredly and leans on Bucky. “Bad?”

“Hm.” Bucky hums and takes Steve’s hand as he offers it. Y/N smiles and walks forward. “FRIDAY? Who’s still awake?”

“Boss, Peter and Ms. Romanov.”

“Okay. Can you get them in the common room?”

“Yes.” Y/N nods in thanks and looks back at the puzzled looking soldiers. “Follow me, you two.”

“What are you up to?”

“Won’t say.” She smiles at Steve and walks out of the apartment to the elevator and then in the common room with the boy’s and a tired dog behind her. Tony sits with Peter on one of the couches. Pepper leans half asleep against Tony’s shoulder. Nat has dragged a grumpy Clint with her who was probably sleeping like a baby. To their surprise even Sam sits on the couch. “Y/N! What the hell is this?”

“Family helping night mixed with movie night.” She says it with no point of arguing. “Steve sit down in front of the couch.” Y/N points at the spot she wants him and he complies without saying anything. She slips between his legs and cuddles her back up to his chest before she spreads her arms out for Bucky to slip in between her legs. He does and copies her sitting position. Then he leans his head back on her shoulder, earning himself a kiss to his temple from Y/N and one from Steve to the crown of his head. Lady settles down on Bucky’s lap, effectively trapping him under her. “Peter.” Y/N smiles at the boy who just arrived today. He smiles back. “You want to pick a movie?”

“Hell yeah.” The boy jumps up and grabs the remote before he flicks a movie on. Y/N wraps her arms around Bucky’s middle while everybody gets comfortable. Clint starts snoring after the opening melody starts and makes them all laugh. Tony eyes them a few times until he throws a blanket over to them. At Y/N’s grateful smile he huffs and turns to the TV as if he hadn’t done anything. Bucky tries to wrap the blanket around the three of them but struggles a bit. “Don’t worry, frosty. Your arm is ready by tomorrow evening.” Tony doesn’t look at him but he has a small smile on his lips.

Sometime in the movies Bucky goes slack and Y/N looks at him. His eyes are closed and he’s mostly asleep. But then he flinches and startles awake again with a light tremble. She tightens her arms around him and even Steve wraps his around Bucky. “You’re okay, pal.”

“Everything is alright, Buck.” They both kiss Bucky again but he doesn’t relax. It happens a few times more. “Bucky?”

“Y-yes?”

“Close your eyes.”

“N- Y/N.” His voice is a slight whine but Y/N shakes her head and rubs her hand over his stomach. “C’mon.” He reluctantly does but tenses as soon as he closes them. Without missing a beat Y/N starts to hum a melody. She feels Bucky relax at her chest but it’s not enough, so she starts singing, ignoring the fact that the others stare at her and that the TV gets suspiciously silent.

May your dreams bring you peace in the darkness,

May you always rise over the rain.

May the light from above always lead you to love,

May you stay in the arms of the angels.

ay you always be brave in the shadows

till the sun shines upon you again.

Hear this prayer in my heart

and will ne'er be apart,

May you stay in the arms of the angels.

May you hear every song in the forest

and if ever you lose your own way;

Hear my voice like a breeze

whisper soft through the trees.

May you stay in the arms of the angels

May you grow up to stand as a man, love

with the pride of your family and name.

When you lay down your head

for to rest in your bed,

May you stay in the arms of the angels.

She looks back down at Bucky. He’s fast asleep and his face looks relaxed, more relaxed than she has seen him this past few days. She smiles and places a light kiss on his cheekbone. “You see, not so bad after all.” When she looks up, she sees the other look at her with soft smiles on their lips. She smiles back and the movie gets started again. Steve tightens his grip on his two lovers and kisses Y/N’s cheek. “You’re great. I’m so glad that we found you.” She smiles and leans back at him, pulling Bucky with her. “I love you, too.”

One after another the Avengers falls asleep. And it doesn’t take long for either Steve or Y/N to follow.

Just like Tony said he gives Bucky his arms back the next day. Bucky clings to Y/N’s hand through the whole procedure, even to the fact that it doesn’t hurt. The rest of the day he’s needy and acts once again like little Bucky. But Y/N secretly likes it. It’s a welcome change to the usual Bucky.


End file.
